I have yelled when I get angry my whole life, how do I learn to control my anger after so long?

We learn how to show our emotions from a very young age, but that doesn’t mean that the patterns we settle in are fixed or permanent. Just like any habit, we can learn new behavior with enough practice and support from the environment. It is hard to change our ways when we don’t have the support of people around us, so talk to your family and friends about the changes you’d like to make they may be willing to brainstorm ways to help you avoid situations that typically trigger your temper. The best path to avoiding anger flare-ups is to cut off the build up from irritability, to frustration, anger, and rage and this means paying attention to how you feel even when you feel good. When you notice your emotions starting to heat up, take steps to calm down starting with noticing what is bothering you and trying to disengage from the situation. Similarly, pay attention to the times when you feel in control of your temper by noticing the situation around you and how the day has gone. Trying to structure your days to include things that put you in a good mood and avoid things that irritate you is the most basic step we can take to controlling our emotions (rather than being controlled by them). Avoiding everything that frustrates or angers you may not be possible, but being able to anticipate situations that you will find more challenging is a necessary beginning to developing better emotional control.

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