This is a featured article from our 3rd edition of the LIFTS Magazine.
Tips to Help Siblings Transition When a New Baby Comes Homes, by the HMHB Team
Welcoming a new sibling is a big adjustment for everyone! Here are some tips and tricks to help ease the transition:
- Snuggle up and read books about what to expect when a new baby comes home. Take time to talk about the changes to come and what feelings might come up.
- Look at photos and videos and tell stories about what it was like when they were born and first came home.
- Ask them what they’re most excited about and what they hope to teach their new sibling.
- Take a moment to greet them by yourself and have a few minutes of one on one time before introducing them to the baby.
- Give them a special gift (from baby) when baby comes home.
- When taking care of the baby (feeding, diapering, bathing, etc.) ask them if they would like to help and give them a special task so they feel included and appreciated.
- Before feeding baby, get them a snack/drink or interested in an activity.
- Read to young children while feeding baby. Have child hold the book and turn the pages or play a “no-hands” game, “I spy something red…”
- Teach other children how to get/make a special snack for themselves. This will help them feel like a big kid!
- Set aside 5 minutes of focused, uninterrupted one on one time when they have your FULL attention the whole time. Even just a few minutes goes a long way.
- Build forts or special nooks where they can retreat and let their imaginations run wild. Try a cardboard box with Christmas lights poked through so they can “stargaze”.
- Tell stories of what things were like when you were a kid. Our children sometimes forget that we were once little too and we can remember what that feels like. This helps them feel seen and understood.
Prairie Wolfe, a Somatic Therapist from Missoula, recommends these exercises to help you and your children process big emotions:
LET THEM FEEL POWERFUL. Press hands, palm to palm with your kid and then push each other across the room and let them win. Let them knock you over! Exclaim about their power, “Whoa! How did you get so strong?! I am pushing as hard as I can and you are pushing me across the room!”
As often as you can, talk to your kids about their strong emotions. Say to them, “I see you. I still love you and accept you, even when you’re mad.” This helps our kids learn that their needs for belonging and authentic expression can both exist and both be met, at the same time.
And, for you, recognize and honor when you’re feeling activated, frustrated, and downright angry. Parenting is incredibly challenging and it’s helpful to have ways to release intense emotions in safe and healthy ways.
Grab a washcloth or dish towel and twist it up until you can feel the tension between your hands. Wring it as tightly as you can and then let the tension in your jaw, spine, and shoulders really grind and release into the towel. Then, add sound. Try a low growl, like a “grrrr” sound so you can really give this anger a voice and a place for it to go. Stay present and FEEL the sensations in your body. When you’re ready, release and breathe deeply. Check in with your body afterwards to see what has changed. Be curious about how your energy felt before and after this release?
From its inception, Essentials has been an integral part of HMHB’s mission to support mothers and babies aged zero to three. Recognizing the critical importance of safe sleep and secure travel for infants and toddlers, the program was designed to bridge the gap for families facing financial or logistical barriers.
To ensure car seats and pack and plays are safely set up, providers (such as doctors, nurses, Health Departments, home visitors, etc.) must order Essentials items for the families they serve. Thus, Essentials not only provides tangible products to families, but also fosters trust and relationships with direct service providers. By equipping partners with resources, HMHB empowers them to support parents comprehensively, from access to guidance on safe sleep practices, laying the foundation for future engagements.
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