Selene heard about Nurse Family Partnerships through WIC when she was four months pregnant – her daughter, Delia, is now six months old. Selene continues to meet with registered nurse Meredith Lucas, who has become a trusted confidante for more than a year.
At the very first visit, I thought, “I don’t know if I want to continue this.” But the more I got to know Meredith, the easier it became. I was able to open up to her. She told me a lot about programs I could look into. And she was always giving me information with each monthly milestone for the baby. Whatever I needed.
Now, I don’t like missing our appointments – I think I’ve only ever missed maybe one of them. My mom actually passed away some years ago, so it’s good to talk to Meredith and ask questions about Delia’s age, milestones, and what I should be teaching her.
Before I gave birth we went over one of those birth plan forms to take to the hospital – what kind of music I wanted, how I felt about interventions, etc. Meredith knew that giving birth without my mom was something I struggled with. So as part of my birth plan, she suggested I bring a photo of my mom to the hospital with me. I did that and it was really soothing for me.
I did want to have a natural birth with no medications and I tried for this through the whole pregnancy. When I went to the hospital, my fiance, Monty, was there with me the whole time. He was the one playing the music, trying to help me feel more comfortable. I was in labor for 26 hours and I was given an ultimatum to take the epidural or have a C-section, which I chose to have the epidural. There were some decisions about medications I was advised on after this that didn’t work out and actually seemed to make things worse. That was really frustrating since I was doing my best to follow the doctor’s advice. But when I trusted my instincts on a medication they recommended, and said no to this, it ended up being the right call and things were regulated. You hear that message that “you are the one who knows your body the best.” That can be a risky statement at the moment. But it was awesome because that was the right move – that made me feel like I got some power back. Also, it gave me a perspective on that really helpless feeling your partner can have in that room.
Monty did the cord cutting and when Delia came out, she looked right at him, which the doctors said was surprising. I guess they usually don’t really acknowledge dad. They just want mom. But Delia looked directly at him – it was beautiful.
When I started meeting with Meredith again, I think the main thing I was wanting to know was if things would ever be regulated with Delia. Everything just seemed so all over the place when they’re newborns. But I think it was more like the comfort of having Meredith there, more than anything, both before and after I gave birth. She had insights about postpartum stress and had a list of therapists if I wanted to connect. Meredith helped me get in touch with a doula for placenta encapsulation, then she helped with breastfeeding and also helped me get signed up for Medicaid. She’s been able to come to the house a few times and to do weight checks for the baby when I’ve been feeling like I need to know exactly what she’s weighing. She was a huge help every step of the way.
Delia is now six months old, and it’s been more than a year since I’ve been meeting with Meredith.
We’ve mostly met at little coffee shops in the morning and that’s been a comfortable setting. And then sometimes here and there she’ll come to the house and see the baby – it really just depends. She just goes where I feel like I want to go.
In the beginning I felt like visits were going to be a place where they judge you or report things back – whatever bad things they can get out of you or point out things you’re not doing right. I thought that this was just going to be a negative thing. Although it turned out to bring out the best in me. Meredith would highlight everything I was doing wonderfully as a new mother. The more I just kind of kept going with it, the more I ended up finding out about Meredith as well. I was able to open up to her and trust her.
If anyone asked me, I’d tell them that home visiting programs are a huge advantage for moms – during pregnancy, but especially postpartum. I really, truly think this has been such a blessing for us – I will always recommend it highly for support in all areas.
You can use the LIFTS Online Resource Guide to find home visiting programs across Montana—just type “home visiting” into the search feature. If you need help finding a program, you can also call the LIFTS Warmline at (406) 430-9100 for personalized assistance.
