Tristan was 18 years old and 10 weeks pregnant with her daughter, Emberly, when she was first connected with home visiting nurse Hannah Akard through Nurse Family Partnership. Now 21, Tristan speaks on the role Hannah played in her birth journey, and the joys and challenges Hannah has been present for as Emberly, now 2, continues to thrive.
I remember I had gone to see a nurse and they had a little poster by the door for Nurse Family Partnership. I read it while I was waiting on the nurse to come back in, and I was like “maybe I’ll give it some thought.” I was signing up for WIC at the same time too and I was thinking that it seemed like a resource I needed.
Garett and I got together in our senior year of high school and we’ve been together since – but we were super shocked about the pregnancy. We were so young. I went into it knowing a little bit about babies and birth, but I wanted to be fully informed. I wanted to know everything so no one could say “you don’t know anything – you’re just 18.”
We both went to meet up with Hannah for a coffee the first time. Then we started meeting biweekly. I did a lot of my own learning and Hannah helped me with that as well. Like with what’s changing in my body, what’s going on with the baby, and life after having a baby, and what postpartum depression and anxiety was.
Garett was there at some of the meetings with Hannah. Sometimes I’d bring material from Hannah home and I reviewed it with him. He was very involved in the birthing plan – he knew all the stretches to help relieve all the pressure during pregnancy and then also during labor. He was amazing during the whole process.
I had three different birth plans – an A, B, and C. Hannah was just super supportive through it all because I’m very much a natural person. So she really helped me with finding natural remedies. But Hannah and I also talked about how it might not go perfectly. So I went ahead and made B and C plans. But it did honestly, end up being the best birth. I used aromatherapy and I did a lot of prep before. I stretched and I did these workouts with the yoga ball.
I delivered naturally. It was 19 hours, with me pushing for less than 30 minutes. They put Emberly on my chest and it was like my whole world shifted.
The only part that didn’t go to plan was that I didn’t get my “golden hour” that we’d talked about right away. I wasn’t delivering my placenta and then I was losing blood and a doctor had to step in and do what needed to be done. So Garret got her, and he had his skin to skin time with her until I could hold her.
After, I was texting Hannah, sending her pictures of Emberly and filling her in on the birth. Then she got to meet her and see her in her little car seat with her cute outfits and stuff – it was just so sweet.
I did fall into postpartum depression and anxiety pretty bad for a little bit. I didn’t want to tell anybody. When I was doing those screenings, I just kept lying on them. I was thinking, “I don’t want anybody to think I’m unfit.” You know? Just the fear of all that. But then I had this one day – I don’t remember what happened. I broke down to Garret and I told him everything. He said I needed to talk to somebody about this. And so I talked to Hannah about it and we got very open and honest and she helped me with all the resources that I needed. Even just being open and talking about what I was feeling helped me.
I’m 21 now, and Emberly is two – she’s very independent. Anything she can do herself or she wants to do herself, she will do. So that’s pretty fun. She is super sweet and well-mannered – that was a big thing for me. She’s very much a daredevil.
Hannah has been my rock from the beginning. She knew before anyone about the pregnancy, other than Garret and a few key people. So it was really special to be able to show her my baby after everything that we’ve been through. We finally got into our own apartment six months ago and we have just kind of been thriving.
It has been so amazing as a young parent to have somebody who’s not related to me, to be able to give me reassurance and information. With Hannah, it was always super neutral. It was like, “Here’s information. Take it if you want it – don’t take it, if you don’t want it. No matter what, I’m here for your peace of mind.”
You can use the LIFTS Online Resource Guide to find home visiting programs across Montana—just type “home visiting” into the search feature. If you need help finding a program, you can also call the LIFTS Warmline at (406) 430-9100 for personalized assistance.
